Can't read but will apply
Every few days I have to delete an email that looks like one of
these:
I was keenly intrested to pursue my summer project under your
guidance.I will be highly Obliged if I am considered eligible to given
this opportunity based on my resume given below.I Promise that all the
details given below are true to the best of my knowledge
Respected sir,
We the students of NNNNN TTTTT IIIII, XXXX,
studying in Fourth Semester. We have a strong inclination towards
research and project work. So we wish to do a project under your
able guidance during our summer vacations (MAY-JUNE 2006).
Respected Sir,
I am XXXX, 20, a 2nd Year Student of Computer Science and Engineering
of IIIII NNNNN TTTTT, XXXX. Sir, I want to utilize
my upcoming summer vacation in better and constructive way. So I will
be grateful to you if you can guide me for some projects going under
your supervision on campus during summer vacation (15th May 2006 to
25th July 2006 (9 weeks)), so that I can have a better and bright
future. I would like to assure you that I will dedicate myself entirely
throughout this period for the project.
My university will be offering me a break from May to June. I'd be highly
obliged if you give me a chance to take part in a training/project
program in your highly esteemed institute. I understand that the projects
are conducted according to the availability of teachers. In case if some
problem arise I will be highly grateful if you could suggest me
an alternative.
I am a student of 3rd year, pursuing my B-Tech from Computer Science and
Engineering Department, XXXX. I am interested in doing a summer project
under you in the field of Databases during summer '06.
I desire to pursue my Summer Internship under your Intellectual and
genuine guidance.
And then there are those who would exploit "six degrees of
separation":
Dear Sir, Myself is RRR TTTT working in OOOO as scientific officer and
also an IITB alumini.my younger brother is persuing B Tech in CSE from
LLLL(XX).He has great willingness to work a small project under
your guidence. i am sending a brief introduction about him which is
as follows.
This one takes the cake:
I am FFF LLL, a B Tech Computer Sc student from MMM SSS Institute of
Technology under WWWUUUTTT. Sir I have keen desire to get my doctoral
from a US University on Distributed computing or Wireless Technologies,
so I am going to sit for GRE. For the purpose, without preambling, as
you know I must secure some good recommendation. So it is my earnest
appeal to you that please show me the way and elevate my dream.
Waiting for your reply and oblige.
And here is an irresistible offer:
My name is JJJJ R RRRR. I am an International Rifle Shooter of India
and I was a member of an INDIAN AIR RIFLE SHOOTING TEAM FOR YEAR 2006.
I am a presently studding in a 7th semester of B.E. Information
Technology at LLLL DDDD Engineering College, AAAA, GGGG. Sir, I want
to do my 8th semester project work under your supervision. I am sending
my Resume with this. I am sure that you would kindly cooperate
and oblige.
How could I possibly refuse from the wrong end of a Remington?
Then there is in-your-face dishonesty:
I have gone through your research activities given on your homepage.
I am looking for a challenging opportunity for summer internship
for the period of May-July 2007.
When I pointed out that anyone reading my homepage would notice my
statement (that I do not take external students), I got a response
like this:
it's fine if u donot want to work with me ,but such words don't
suit a proff of ur standards
Clearly there is no dearth of entitlement, just good sense.
Another rather colorful one:
So are you or are you not going to offer me that internship ? I take
it from your silence that you haven't yet decided. But you gotta
hurry up professor, you can't leave me hanging for weeks.
ps: I understand. That little blurb on your webpage is just to keep
down the number of applicants.
Heighly honourable esteemable Sirji,
I, RRRR MMMM CCCC , son of Shri LLLL PPPP CCCC, am 3rd year student of
information technology at BBBB BBBB AAAA University in
LLLL. I saw your webpage on internet and I like it very much.
I like to go for higher studies in Berkly in us and I like to do
research in same subject as you do. Some of the fields I am intrested
are Bidirectional Expansion For Keyword Search on Graph Databases,
Learning to rank networked entities, and general web search. You have
good experience in such fields so respected honourable sirji I thought
I could do 3 month project under your expert leadership in summer
2007. I like to go for higher studies in us and also like to take your
reco if you think I deserve.
I hope you give me opertunity to serve you.
yours humbly
RRRR MMMM CCCC.
ps: My Tauji work in big position in Motrola in US and if you like I
can send your resume to him.
2007/11/26:
Then there are those zero-knowledge requests that are careful not
to divulge to me my research area:
I have gone through the details of your research work
and the courses you are teaching and I am very keen to work in the
field of ............
To enhance my knowledge and experience in this field,
I would like to work under your esteemed guidance for my summer
internship.
That ............ sure looks like the Morse
code for an SOS! Gone are the days when you had to waste your life
actually studying and liking some specific area and only then
write to people you wanted to work with.
Update on 2008/03/03: Here is an
email from a student discussing, for want of a more suitable word,
my policy.
2008/07/27: Here is another SMS-style "application".
So happy to find approval!
Dear Sir,
I am SSSS GGGG second year student @ Computer Science in RRRR college, BBBB. As you r aware it is the best college in Bangalore.
From ur profile it seems like u are a very smart person. India needs teachers like u. I want to do 1 month project under ur guidance in August. Could u tell me what paper work I should complete? I can send ur my resume if u are interested. I am gr8 at advanced programming like visual basic. I wrote a screen saver last month and all my friends use it.
I went through your website and it is really cool. One day I will have such a website.
I dont expect salary during the project so I am sure u wiill guide me for the project. Just so that there is no confusion later I want u to give me a recommendation letter so that I can apply 4 higher studies in the USA. Let me know if u cannot do this 4 whatever reason. I am going to finish GRE and TOFEL next year.
Awaiting ur reply.
yours truely,
SSSS GGGG
p.s: I am also from west bengal only. Did u grow big in kolkata?
2008/07/31: And then there are people who get my affiliation wrong,
but the email right (formatting original):
SIR,
I am VVVV from WWWW [insert brain-damaging Indian software company
name here], i have been associated with WWWW on datawarehousing
projects . I have resigned WWWW due to personal reasons of not
getting chance to learn much. I have decided to learn some thing on
database side and then pick up in my career I would be very much
greatfull if iam given an oppurtunaty to learn and be a part of IISC
bangalore, precisely i would want to work on any database projects ,
please sir this is my humble request kindly accept me .Save me sir it
is my humble request.
Hope you can come out with some positvee decision.
2008/09/04: And now, project requests from the southern
hemisphere!
Respected Professor,
We are students of III year B. Tech Computer Science And Engineering studying in NNNN, TTTT . We are interested in doing a Technical Project under your able guidance during the summer vacations starting from December-2008 for duration of 5-6 weeks.
We have gone through research papers in the fields of Development of Algorithms, Windows Develpment and Artificial Intelligence and have developed immense interest in the recent research and intricate details of the mentioned fields.
2014/04/16: I cannot keep up with students and change my work area
as fast as they want me to.
At 01:09 AM:
I have gone through the Department profile and the research works you
have been associated with which has enhanced my interest in your area
of research in the field of Parallel and Distributed Processing ,
Neural Nets and Architecture and I assure you that with my utmost
sincerity & hard work, I would be able to add value to any project I
am associated with.
And then
At 01:10 AM:
I have gone through the Department profile and the research works you
have been associated with which has enhanced my interest in your area
of research in the field of Hypertext databases and Data mining and I
assure you that with my utmost sincerity & hard work, I would be able
to add value to any project I am associated with.
Forget about the shoddy language, downright dishonesty and abject
desperation; these folks can't even read the homepages of people with
whom they ostensibly wish to work! This is what I say very early in
my homepage, you can't miss it:
At the moment I am not offering short-term projects to
students not enrolled in a regular program at IIT Bombay. Only if you are
looking for at least a year-long position, send email with an ASCII
resume.
And then there are people so offended with the above examples that they
send me hate mail: